So, the final days before what is supposed to be one of the biggest days of my life! …and i’m stressing out 🙁 It’s the reception that goes with our impromptu but lovely marriage we had in our living room last november. a celebration we are determined to have the most wonderful time at, regardless of what is going on. but i have this knowing feeling it will be the most beautiful ceremony, and usually when i have a knowing feeling, it tends to turn out that way! 😉
one of the reasons among others i didn’t want an enormous celebration, was because i didn’t want to get stressed over the little details of trying to create something “perfectly perfect”, flawless, and ultimately not really me. (for i am definitely not perfectly perfect, but perfectly imperfect, as Sark would say!) i wanted to focus on what was important to me, and have the energy to enjoy our day. however, we were thrown for a loop with some very unexpected disappointments in dealing with some family and it has been taking a toll on both of us.
it has caused us much stress and heartache, so much so that i nearly cancelled the entire thing twice. but i have come to the conclusion that we have the power to make it the best day regardless of the circumstances. and i’ll say it again, WE HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE IT THE BEST DAY! and this goes for every day of life, as well!
so last night, as i wrote a heartfelt but honest email to a new family member, i decided that as soon as i finished it, i would let all the hurt and anger just fly away, and focus on us, because that is what this day is supposed to be about. and i will let the words of Dr Seuss comfort me, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”. i will also take what my older sister said to me about one of my headaches, “why don’t you focus not on the people that won’t be there, but the people that will be there?” isn’t it strangely wonderful how the right words will come your way when you need them?
and i realize what important advice this is, because it’s true. the people who will be there, we are so incredibly grateful for, and they are the ones that matter. and the people who can’t legitimately make it to the event, we will miss them but we love them and appreciate them. we also know they will be here in heart. but those the closest to us who disregarded it completely and worse, threw fire at us RIGHT before the party for unrelated and unjustified things, that is what WAS difficult. (notice the caps, i am moving on!! ;)) anyway, back to my point. i am such a lucky girl to have such amazing family and friends who will be there. every one of them is precious to us, and we are lucky to have them celebrate our day with us.
It will be a celebratory day full of music, food, wine (my favorite!! ;)), square dancing, and love. i still have a crazy number of things to do still, but i’m now enjoying the process. and for some wonderful reason, i’ve found myself with an overwhelming amount of creative energy as well, and have been writing sporadically, while trying to rehearse some music, and trying to do a million other things including finding the perfect dress! and luckily, after trekking through a ton of stores and nearly pulling my hair out, i found the perfect dress 🙂 i envisioned what i wanted in my head, i set out to hunt for it and hunt for it i did, and i found it
so yes, i am a lucky lady 😀 i have love, i have family, i have friends, i have music, i have writing. and i want to especially thank music and writing right now, because i have been at my keyboard, singing, creating, for the past few days, and music has kept me company and brought light to my heart when i desperately needed it. and writing, with it’s dependable ability to calm me down and bring me clarity, has done exactly that when i needed it. so i thank the creativity angels out there for helping me out, once again <3
and now i think it may be finally time to celebrate!! well at least in a few days it will be! 😉
ps – i’m also lucky because now i have these adorable new emoticons that Joseph created for me, working nonstop for the past couple of days. am i being showered with gifts, or what?? 😉