what makes me feel AMAZING today!

I have it set on my calendar to blog today, and how i have tried to come up with so many excuses to avoid it! i sit in front of a blank page on my computer right now and i’m thinking of what i can write about. of course there is always something to write about. if somebody dissected my brain and heart and looked inside, i’m pretty sure it would be a colorful mass of thoughts and feelings and unidentifiable emotions swirling around… my job is to pull something from that swirling mass and bring it to life, share it, maybe let it go…

i used to think that creativity, whether it be writing, drawing, making music, etc, was all about inspiration. when the inspiration strikes, create! but i’ve come to realize that if you want to be continuously creative (and in my world, continuously peaceful), sometimes it’s about discipline. sitting your tushy down and just doing it. and oftentimes, the doing is what brings about the inspiration!

i think that experience makes us wiser, which is why older folks tend to have more wisdom. but i also think that writing brings us wisdom as well. i’ve journaled since i was 12. and i realized early on that the answers to questions we always have, the ones that are brought about by change, difficulties, and life experiences in all its forms, always have answers if you look. and if they aren’t apparent immediately, they will be. it’s just a matter of keeping the right mindset. such as not freaking out (i am the freak out QUEEN!!!), figuring out all you can do to solve things at the moment then doing them, and lastly the hardest part for me, letting it go for the time being and trusting that it will be revealed to you in the right time. NOT easy for an impatient person like me!! but my logical mind always says, why worry when there’s nothing you can do right now? why not spend that time drinking a cocktail or laughing or singing??

i used to journal all the time, it was my only way of staying sane. and in the recent years i did journal, but hadn’t dug really deep. i stopped relying on myself and looked elsewhere. which has its benefits depending on where you look and how much you depend on the outside source. but i now think, how can i look elsewhere, for answers regarding myself? i can seek help of course, but ultimately i need to find things on my own. here’s to re-realizing the effects of journaling! and here’s to me writing this blog, cuz it’s lifted me from mud and has left me feeling AMAZING!! 😀

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