Dancing my way towards my dreams

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This glass of Pinot Noir is pleasant and organic. it initially swirls around your mouth quickly in a powerful burst of berry jam and oak, and then quickly leaves. i think i’m kind of liking it… and it for sure feels nice knowing i’m not inhaling pesticides 😉

It’s rainy outside, so very rainy. i was planning on going dress shopping today, but am afraid of getting nowhere with the possible flooding on the highway. so tomorrow it will have to be… more time for me to create what i want the dress to be in my head though – i tend to do that before i shop a lot. i want it to be sparkly and short with a tutu-like skirt… and i shall wear my very sparkly champagne colored Jimmy Choos with it of course! which will totally be inappropriate for the occasion, but that’s the least of my concerns for it is my (our) party, and i can do anything i please 😉

so what’s the dress for? as you may know if you’ve been reading my blog, i got married in november of last year. it was not one of those planned weddings where the bride plans forever and gets the perfect venue, cake, and dress. i’ve always personally thought i didn’t want to make such a fuss about one day when the most important thing is the actual marriage. plus, since i’ve been slightly marriage phobic a lot of my life, i think i would’ve had a nervous breakdown!! maybe it was more of an elopement? except it was in our living room. and it was perfect 🙂 so the dress is for the wedding party we never got to have, which will be the end of this month, 7 months later 🙂 but does that matter to me? noo! 🙂 i’ve never done anything in the traditional manner, and for me that’s fine, i like things being unexpected and different! following the book of life’s “instructions” is boring to me, and who exactly decided what everyone is “supposed” to do anyway?

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i will also be singing at my own wedding party which i guess isn’t very traditional, but when do i give up the opportunity to sing in front of people if i can? it’s what makes my world go ’round. it’s what makes my own heart happy, and hopefully the people listening will feel happy too 🙂 we will also be square dancing!! i’m looking forward to that 🙂 since Joseph is from the south, we figured we’d bring something southern to the celebration as well.

So, yes i was very scared to get married, which is why it took longer for me to get here than i thought. and the day after i got married i was still scared, and still unsure about whether i did the right thing or not. all i did know is that i was following what my heart was telling me, even if i didn’t quite know what was on the other side. i guess you never do though. but of course it’s a little more scary when you are making big life changes like this.

but my point is, 7 months later, i am in a good place. and i can see why i was lead to take the steps i took to get where i am now. i can see how i’m being taken care of, and how i’m being lead in the right direction, even when i sometimes feel like a lost little lamb. i can see that if i do follow my heart, i can’t really go wrong, though i’m sometimes scared. and i’m finally starting to gain some clarity, after a couple of difficult years of uncertainty. and oh does it feel liberating! i’m not quite there yet, but i’m getting there, closer and closer. and even if at the end of this month i’m still inching over to where i’m supposed to be, then at least i will be square dancing my way there, in a (hopefully) sparkly short dress with a tutu skirt, and my lovely, sparkly Jimmy Choos 😀

The Wonders of What a Nude High Heeled Shoe Can REALLY Do

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Just sitting outside on our cute outdoor metal table and chair with pretty rose designs on it. And my iPad mini is propped up on my nude high heel, lolol!!! I haven’t gotten a case for it yet so Joseph comes outside w my high heel in hand and voila! Too funny 😀

I’ve been trying to figure out what my next step is, after having finished my album. I have been writing and meditating about it, and i realize it needs to be something that inspires me, that makes me get butterflies in my tummy. Yes, another album would be great, but currently it would not be the wisest financial move. Blogging, however, has popped into my mind. And the thought of it does make me happy, it excites me, actually! i love writing!

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I wanted to get myself a new MacBookPro, for I am now ALMOST a REAL blogger, who’s toying with the idea of truly committing to a blog. It will probably inspire me to sit outside here more and write, or go to coffee shops and type out my stories while sipping an herbal tea, but nooo, i don’t think buying a new (AMAZING) computer will be the wisest financial move at the moment either, haha! so, my ipad mini propped up on my nude high heel, is what it’s going to be! it’s way easier than lugging my heavy laptop 😛 and it suits me just fine, thank you! hey, and if anyone wants to try this, i highly recommend it 😉

So, the point of this blog? if you are searching for an answer for something, it WILL come! And the one right for you will present itself, and even if your reaction is “what the heck?”, later on , when you look back on all the events that have made up what your life is, you will understand it was perfectly perfect!! I’ve had this reaction a few times when looking back on my life, and it’s pretty cool. so i’ve learned to just trust what my inner self is telling me, when it’s clear enough to see. and until then i just wait patiently, knowing my life is truly in divine order!

and who knows? maybe there is a MacBookPro in my future! Maybe there’s another album in my future! Actually, it’s barely concrete now, but Joseph and i are also toying with the idea of purchasing ProTools, and learning it – well, he would have to learn it and i do the music, i am a techie dummy! – so maybe there will be more music in the near future!! the thought of THAT definitely excites me!! like MASSIVE butterflies in my tummy excited! so i guess that would be an indication that this is the right move for me ;D I’ve wanted to professionally record “Little Angels” and the original “Why” and “Child In Me” for a while!! and new songs!!

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Anyway, i’m feeling like i’m in a good place right now, i have a knowing feeling that i’m on to something, my next move is almost apparent. I’m grateful! I’m learning a whole lot from life, from all the books and magazines i read, from everything! and i finally got a pedicure, so my feet are happy too! and today i learned the coolest thing ever, the wonders of what a high heeled shoe can REALLY do 🙂