i woke up this morning feeling absolutely refreshed and renewed. maybe because i had my 2 nephews over for a sleepover and s’mores party the other night and the little one (they are twins but he is 20 mins younger and littler!) poked my shoulder at 5am and said “Kiki… i’m bored”. and then again at 7am, “kiki… what should i do now?” (uh, sleep!!). yes, so i was exhausted yesterday and was able to completely pass the frick out, hence, my very good mood!
i’m burning my fairly new raw beeswax candle and the subtle smell of honey is heady and intoxicating. yummy. it inspires me to write and inspires beauty on this fresh morning. i have already written in my journal, i am so ecstatic that i’ve gotten back into the groove of it, where i feel not whole and unsteady unless i write in it. it brings me back to my center so i can be the best version of myself, at least for the moment.
i’ve recently learned a new trick for feeling better even if i’m in the foulest mood possible. i am one of those people that spreads what i’m feeling at the moment far and wide to anyone i come into contact with in my personal life. so if i’m happy, it’s contagious, if i’m mad, then watch out 😉 so, my trick is that no matter what i may be feeling, i write in my journal 5 things i am grateful for. yes it sounds slightly annoying, but it works. and why would i want to stay in a bad mood and waste a beautiful day? anything’s worth a shot to save a day, in my opinion! of course on the worst days, the last thing i feel like doing is letting anyone or any force out there know that i’m grateful for something when i feel like yelling out all the complaints i have. but there’s always SOMEthing 😉 some examples of stuff off my numerous grateful lists while being in a bad mood:
- i’m grateful for my new, pretty journal
- i’m grateful for the nice weather
- i’m grateful for the vacation that’s coming up (and even if it’s a whole month away, i won’t think about that part :tongue:)
- i’m grateful for my beeswax candle
- i’m grateful for artichokes!
- i’m grateful for sleep, especially when i CAN sleep
- i’m grateful for the buzz i have from the wine i had w lunch!
haha 🙂 so there’s always something, and if you do it for enough days in a row (i’d say try 21!), then you find it starts to work. try it! 😀
I have it set on my calendar to blog today, and how i have tried to come up with so many excuses to avoid it! i sit in front of a blank page on my computer right now and i’m thinking of what i can write about. of course there is always something to write about. if somebody dissected my brain and heart and looked inside, i’m pretty sure it would be a colorful mass of thoughts and feelings and unidentifiable emotions swirling around… my job is to pull something from that swirling mass and bring it to life, share it, maybe let it go…
i used to think that creativity, whether it be writing, drawing, making music, etc, was all about inspiration. when the inspiration strikes, create! but i’ve come to realize that if you want to be continuously creative (and in my world, continuously peaceful), sometimes it’s about discipline. sitting your tushy down and just doing it. and oftentimes, the doing is what brings about the inspiration!
i think that experience makes us wiser, which is why older folks tend to have more wisdom. but i also think that writing brings us wisdom as well. i’ve journaled since i was 12. and i realized early on that the answers to questions we always have, the ones that are brought about by change, difficulties, and life experiences in all its forms, always have answers if you look. and if they aren’t apparent immediately, they will be. it’s just a matter of keeping the right mindset. such as not freaking out (i am the freak out QUEEN!!!), figuring out all you can do to solve things at the moment then doing them, and lastly the hardest part for me, letting it go for the time being and trusting that it will be revealed to you in the right time. NOT easy for an impatient person like me!! but my logical mind always says, why worry when there’s nothing you can do right now? why not spend that time drinking a cocktail or laughing or singing??
i used to journal all the time, it was my only way of staying sane. and in the recent years i did journal, but hadn’t dug really deep. i stopped relying on myself and looked elsewhere. which has its benefits depending on where you look and how much you depend on the outside source. but i now think, how can i look elsewhere, for answers regarding myself? i can seek help of course, but ultimately i need to find things on my own. here’s to re-realizing the effects of journaling! and here’s to me writing this blog, cuz it’s lifted me from mud and has left me feeling AMAZING!! 😀