do YOU agree with my nonsense??

So. So i sit here in front of my computer. that is AFTER i’ve scribbled into my journal with my yummy purple pen that i love so much. although, if i find a few years down the line that the ink in my yummy purple pen is in fact not permanent, i will have something major to whine about, and I will not love it so much anymore.

i am trying to dump out onto the computer, all of the dark i feel. the clicking sounds as i type actually make me feel better, like i’m losing the dark bits in me with every click. i guess i didn’t dump out enough dark into my journal. actually i would have preferred to have gone on way longer in the journal but decided to blog instead, midway. hence, the clicking sounds. i actually resent the clicking for i am a girl (can i still call myself a girl, or now maybe i can call myself a lady? yes, I like the sound of a lady and a lady I now shall be), who loves yummy pens and beautiful journals with thick, blank, beautiful paper that i can fill up with anything i please. it leaves much room for my unique, crazy, but colorful mind to express itself. i am a lady who loves to receive real cards and letters, yes, in the MAIL. I love to handwrite notes to people, I love to show all the care and thought that went into letting someone know I’m thinking about him or her. I love the album covers that come with the music I love to listen to! So much is revealed about the artist when you look at their album covers and read everything on them! And sadly, now songs are mostly bought electronically. Seems like the soul in everything is suffering…

you know how sometimes you groan and gripe about every little thing BUT the thing that is upsetting you? A little of that is going on now, right before your eyes… So take everything I say with a grain of salt… oh, but just for this blog 😉

yes, i know you’re “not supposed to” to feel the dark or any negativity, and everything must be flowers and sunshine, but hey, sometimes you gotta reveal this very real emotion that everyone, (yes even you) without exception feels! Yes, I AM SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!! Ok, I’m writing it quietly on my computer :PPP sadly, not as satisfying…

but hey, you know what? I somehow feel better now. I’ve forgotten how writing can make you feel so much better when you feel so down and helpless, when you’re tired of hitting brick wall after brick wall. I can turn to writing then, I always have that, don’t i?

Tata for now, Lovelies…