The Artist’s Way

What do you do when you feel hopeless about your music? I should rephrase that and say, what do you do when you LET YOURSELF feel hopeless about your music? or your creativity in general?

Well i this morning, decided that i wouldn’t let it overtake my day, my week. it has been already, for the past few days. it would have been extremely easy for me to dwell in it, and use it as an excuse to check out for god knows how long. but i decided i don’t want to lose those days, weeks, etc.

i read a book years ago called “The Artist’s Way”, by Julia Cameron. for some reason, i had put it on the bookshelf near my desk, among all the books i’m currently in the middle of even though i finished it years ago. well, i’ve glanced at it quite a few times in the past months, but today decided to pick it up and start reading it again. i truly feel that books have a way of appearing when you need them to. i’ve experienced this many times. the bottom line of what i read this morning, is that i can’t let all the junk on the surface prevent me from getting to my creative core. the junk mainly being fear. One way to do that is to take your journal and just keep writing and writing for i don’t know, 15 mins or so. and just let whatever is in your head pour out, onto the pages. Cameron calls it ‘the morning pages’. once all the mindless clutter is gone, you can get to the place where you can channel something higher. sometimes you get something great during the morning pages, too.

last night i finished the last Harry Potter bk of the series that i decided to reread in its entirety a few months back. i think “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” might be my favorite book. And that speaks incredible volumes, considering i’ve read thousands of books – you could say i have an addiction to them. It is a beautiful, magical book (along with the rest of the series). J K Rowling (the author, in case you don’t know! ), said that the idea just popped into her head. She is one that is a major channel for higher creativity. She has realized a way to unblock herself completely and let herself bring something beautiful to the world.

Hopefully i can do this too, although it is a constant effort. and hopefully everyone can do this, as i feel creativity is the essence of all beings. it takes a daily effort, but the effort is worth the world.

Just an ordinary day

5 am~

i wake up way too early with my mind whirling, as usual. i can’t seem to make it stop. sometimes it’s because i’m thinking, about everything and anything. other times i can’t sleep because i feel too ready to start the new day, excited about what i will do when i wake up. set my alarm for later because i know i will be a zombie otherwise.

6 am~

back in dreamland, dreaming about my nephews, for some reason. maybe because they are my favorite people!

9:30 am~

my alarm rings but my head is glued to my pillow. i reset it for 11am.

11 am~

my head is pounding as i hit the alarm. i realize i will have to cancel my appointments for today, for i am sick! but also i feel a need to do my music.

noon~

i am freshly showered and i pull my keyboard and mic out into the middle of my living room and practice my songs. relive the moments that inspired them. time flies when i’m immersed in something that brings me peace. then i start writing a new song, i have an intro done… but i have no idea what i’m writing about.

2 pm~

light a pear-scented candle, crack open my journal. i need to sit still and pull out what is in me, away from the hustle and bustle of my mind. maybe i will be given the gift of a song today… or maybe i’ll have to wait for another day… although this day is still young

This reminds me of what i read in a book recently, this quote:

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards”.

So all that we do day to day, hour by hour, will hopefully make sense one day… and we’ll understand why we feel the need to push ourselves through life sometimes, to get to where we need to be. and other times we will just enjoy, and take the time to smell the roses.