i was about to turn the lights out and crawl into bed, but realized that i, am not tired. and there’s just no sense in trying to fall asleep when you are me because i can’t even fall asleep when i’m sleepy! i actually am incredibly jealous of all who are able to sleep when you want to… you just don’t know how easy you have it!! well at least in the sleeping department.
i am sitting at my desk, looking at half a dozen beautiful roses in front of me, their scent lures me to remain just where i am. they are part of what is keeping me up tonight, i just want to sit here and smell them. they smell like diamonds and velvet, if diamonds and velvet had a smell to them , and fruit. and how i love fruit! …and of course diamonds and velvet 😉 but along with them being beautiful and them smelling beautiful, they make me happy, yes they do!
i’m also looking at my doodle i have displayed on my desk at all times these days, it is of a music staff with notes on it. except instead of the noteheads, i have drawn in flowers, butterflies, hearts, gems… i drew it when i was about to start writing the background vocals to my final songs in the album. i envisioned beautiful music dancing off a music staff, and was able to write the vocals pretty quickly. and now i am sitting here envisioning the editing and mixing work happening as i sit here… beautiful music dancing off a music staff… after all, this is the most i can offer at the moment! i guess looking at the doodle makes me feel like i am contributing somehow.
speaking of fragrances, i’ve always wished i could make a perfume for myself, my signature scent. if i could only capture the smell of japanese pears, currants, and fresh snow in a bottle. and a flower, i haven’t decided on which yet, although violets has been strong in my imagination. or maybe, roses 🙂
i think i am finally sleepy… sweet dreams
So, i have decided to start a blog. I have always loved to write, i write in my journal constantly, i think i have over 20 full ones now. My first passion of course is my music, but i think my second may be reading and writing. and then cooking follows that… along with yoga when i get off my ass and actually do it!! i do love the way it makes me feel afterward, though, so it helps my life overall, and i’d say that is a great investment for sure!
So, i wasn’t sure if today is the day i should l start the blog, as i’ve have a few glasses of wine with my turkey bolognese, and i’m not particularly happy with the sluggish rate my cd is progressing. but hey, i’m all about stating what is, with always an optimistic but hopefully realistic outlook… so realistically, i am TIRED OF WAITING for my cd to be finished!!! this is the helpless way i feel now, and have been feeling for the past couple of months, for the past year…. it’s just so much more difficult to be waiting around for others to get around to doing their job, because i can’t do anything about it!! and that’s the challenging part. but i’m learning to accept that things don’t always happen the way you want them to. this mindset is bringing me a little much needed peace.
Just took a long hot epsom salt bath with lavender essential oil, and it’s helped me relax, along with the cooking i did afterward. so yes i’m grateful for the little things in life that make it easier and pleasurable. and speaking of pleasurable, i was fortunate to go to a Sarah Mclachlan concert in NYC a few nights ago. it was breathtaking. the music of course, and the live performance more so, but feeling a spiritual pull by the music… it touching me so deeply and confirming even more that this is my purpose. So thank you to Sarah Mclachlan, who’s pulled me through the hard times with her music, who inspires me, who lets me reconfirm over and over again what my purpose on this earth is.
so, this is good for today, i’ve quite enjoyed myself and feel better already. and coconut water helps too, i LOVE the stuff!!